Have you ever dated someone and didn't know they had all the traits of a narcissist until it was too late? The fact is there are certain signs and behaviors to watch for to avoid being in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic, and some are easier to spot than others. Here are 12 signs that you're dating a narcissist.
Narcissists are charming -- at first.Your date's charisma might have charmed you. Narcissists are often the life of the party, have a large social network, and exude endless charm. That's because they crave attention. Their seemingly endless supply of attention-seeking behavior is often overshadowed by their confidence, outgoing nature and high self-esteem. But after some time passes and you get to know them better, you realize they need the extra stimulation because without it they are boring people. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the center of attention occasionally, but if an individual needs to constantly be at the center of every situation, it's more problematic. |
 | They boast and brag.Narcissists love to brag and impress you with their stories and achievements. They want you to think they are important, successful, and powerful. So, they exaggerate their achievements to gain status. Some narcissists may even lie about accomplishments or try to take credit for yours. Narcissists like to talk about themselves, even if you don't care for the topic or have stopped listening long ago. While many people like talking about themselves, narcissists take it to an extreme. Conversation is a means of controlling the situation and making sure it is always centered around them. They want your undivided attention! If your partner brags excessively or tries to make themselves look good by putting others down -- including you -- you're likely dealing with a narcissist. |
Narcissists are arrogant.Narcissists think they're better than everyone else and have an exaggerated sense of their own worth. Because narcissists have such an inflated sense of self, they view themselves as better or more important than others. This means they put their needs before anyone else's without thinking twice about how their actions will impact someone else. If you notice your new partner constantly talks about their own accomplishments and needs, and ignores yours, it could be a sign they're a narcissist. |
They feel entitled to special treatment.Narcissists think they're the sun and expect you to revolve around them all the time. But if you are always paying attention to them and your own needs aren't met, it's a toxic relationship that will only get worse over time. If you want your partner to change and start treating you like a priority in their life, you're expecting too much. It's unlikely their behavior will change unless they seek professional help, and most won't acknowledge they have a problem. |
Narcissists can't take criticism.If you subtly criticize your date, and they throw up a wall of anger or guilt, they may be a narcissist. If someone constantly denies their own mistakes, it's likely due to deep-rooted insecurities, a trait of the narcissist. Narcissists have this annoying habit of making everything the fault of someone else. They may even insult you for pointing out their misstep. Narcissists are masters of making you doubt yourself and the abuse. They deny their behavior, minimize it, and blame their victims for it. |
They don't listen.Your conversations with a narcissist are one-sided: They don't hear what you're saying. So, if you feel like your words are falling on deaf ears, you could be dealing with a narcissist. |  |
You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you.The narcissist makes you responsible for how he or she feels and blames you when their needs are not met by you. They feel entitled to exact revenge on those who have hurt them -- in their mind, they are justified in doing so, even if they played a major role in the problem themselves. |
Narcissists won't respect your boundaries.Another red flag is if your partner refuses to respect the boundaries you set for yourself. They don't take no for an answer and push you to do things you're not comfortable with. Narcissists often lack empathy and aren't aware of other people's needs or feelings, which is why they tend to violate your boundaries. Visit us at pufs.com for more articles like this. When this happens, it's important to draw the line and remind them that their behavior isn't OK. If they apologize and try harder in the future, then great -- but if they refuse to acknowledge your feelings and instead blame you for their actions, consider cutting your losses before things get worse. |
They gaslight you and make you question your sanity.A narcissist can gaslight you, causing you to question your own perception of reality. They play on your weaknesses, causing you to feel more vulnerable than ever. Gaslighting can be used subtly or overtly in personal relationships, at work, or even in families. When you're being gaslighted, it's difficult to recognize. Only outside help from a counselor can help them see the truth of their relationship and move forward with a healthier outlook. |
 | You feel bad after spending time with a narcissist.Spending time with a narcissist can be exhausting, with their constant need for attention. If you're feeling totally drained after every date, then something is seriously wrong. If a relationship leaves you chronically drained and upset -- or worse, if it makes you question your self-worth -- then it's not worth investing in. |
You feel like they are always right.If someone puts their opinion above yours all the time and won't consider what you have to say, they might be a narcissist. An even bigger red flag is if they assert their opinion as fact, rather than simply saying "I think" or "In my experience." Either way, no one should have the right to tell you something is wrong with your appearance or personality just because they think so. Remember: It's OK for two people in a relationship not to agree about everything -- but when those disagreements become insults, it crosses a line. |
You feel out of control around them, like they have all the power in the relationship.Another sign you're dating a narcissist is if you feel they have all the power in your relationship. You may lose confidence in your ability to make choices, and you may feel out of control. Narcissists want people who depend on them. They want people who will trust them, look to them for advice, and listen to what they say. When someone loses their identity in a relationship, it's easy for the other person to control them because they follow whatever the narcissist says. If you feel uncomfortable around a person, leave that situation as soon as possible. Narcissists can be charming and attractive at first, which can make them difficult to leave. If you feel like something is off with your partner, listen to that feeling. Your gut is probably right! References: Copyright © 2022 PUFS Inc. All rights reserved. |
